Supporting Baby Boomers Who Care For Aging Parents – 12 Ways to Be a Family Caregiver’s Best Friend

Being a family caregiver, caring for an aging parent, is a tough assignment. It is one that many baby boomers are just beginning to encounter.

One does not usually go into this role as prepared as one would like to be, or hoped to be. Situations often change with little warning. One moment mom and dad are aging nicely, the next moment a stroke, fall or death of one of the parents changes everything. The quality of life of both the aging boomer and the surviving parent are gravely altered.

Despite the degree of love you have for your parents and the degree of familial responsibility you are willing to assume, caring for aging parents is an added stressor in most people’s day to day living. Even when your immediate family and your place of work are supportive, there is still the feeling of not having enough time to meet all life’s commitments well, or at all.

Many family caregivers feel they need to sacrifice time for relaxation. This is a mistake. Without time for relaxation we can become embittered, exhausted and sick ourselves.

If you have a close friend who has had to assume the role of caring for an aging parent you probably already know all of this. And you have probably asked yourself, ‘What can I do to help them out?”

Here are some suggestions for making a welcome difference in the lives of friends like these based on using your common sense with respect to your friend’s needs and your own availability.

Be flexible and communicate this

Despite what plans you make with your friend, be flexible at all times. Be prepared for cancellations or the shortening up of an outing. Be sure to communicate this flexibility to them on an ongoing basis, with sincerity. Allow them to change dates and plans at the last minute. Never scold or show disappointment when this happens.

Drop by with meals and treats

Provide your friend and their family with a dinner or dessert you’ve made every now and then. Find out what they like and don’t like. You can do this randomly, or if it makes more sense, set up a specific day for this. Drop by with surprise treats at random, popcorn for an evening movie, hot chocolate and marshmallows in the winter, a pitcher of lemonade in the summer, a plate of cookies any time.

Weed the garden, cut the grass, walk the dog etc

When you are looking after another you are bound to fall behind in your own housework. Offering to weed the garden, cut the grass, or walk the dog can be an enormous help.

Bring flowers from your garden

If you have some, share them.

Send greeting cards

These can be a mix of both funny and caring. Receiving a greeting card is a great reminder that you have close friends and a real pick-me-up when you feel your whole world is being consumed by caregiving responsibilities.

Celebrate ‘small’ things

Take your friend out for a gourmet coffee and sweet to celebrate Ground Hog Day, four days without rain in April, the official start of summer etc.

Keep outings short and frequent

It’s more important to do things often with your friend than plan ‘big’ things that take up a great deal of time.

Plan outings close to home or in the home

Source out things to do that are close to home, involve little travel time and will let your friend return home or get to the parent’s place quickly if needed. If you live in the country you can have a movie evening or afternoon, complete with popcorn at your place or theirs, plan an afternoon tea complete with finger sandwiches, get together for Christmas card writing or catch up on all the gossip by reading grocery store tabloids together.

Forget cell phone etiquette

When you are out having coffee or tea with a friend, insist they keep their phone on and in a place where they watch it for messages. Being encouraged to do this will put them at ease and make these outings more relaxed and ‘doable’.

Listen and let them cry

A family caregiver experiences many moments and ongoing periods of frustration. Having someone who can listen to all of this, and accept the tears, without feeling they need to fix things or being overwhelmed by what they hear, is invaluable.

Don’t give advice

It’s best to offer advice only when this is asked for. Advice is often demeaning, stating nothing more than the obvious. Many family caregivers are ‘trapped’ in situations where the only solution is to endure.

Be prepared to ‘disagree’

Be aware that you may not always agree with your friend’s caregiving approach or decisions. Within reason, and within the law, be prepared to go along with these, remembering you are not in their shoes and that they are doing their best.

Search online resources

When your friend is looking for information related to a specific caregiving issue, offer to do an online search for this. This can be an enormous time-saver. If they want to know how other ‘baby boomers’ cope with the challenges of caring for an aging parent, look for web sites that offer discussion forums for family caregivers. These can be beneficial on an ongoing basis and provide much needed knowledge as well as emotional support.

To Hell With Education – Who Cares About Education?

“Who cares man.” This was my view when I was in secondary school. I was a brilliant student who knew almost nothing, but I knew everything else – My teachers were not bothered. They knew that I simply wasn’t interested in education.

I was only attending school because of my friends – I attended school so I could hang around with them. We were too busy messing about,

In India we have standard one to eleven teaching. After that you go to college. I was in standard eight when I was 15. I was in standard eight when I was 16. I was in standard eight when I was 17. And that was it. I did not attend school again. When I was 18 I did not feel right going back to the same class simply because all my friends were well ahead of me. I was the second oldest person in my classroom. Our class teacher was the first.

Today I am fifty years old. If I go back to study I would probably go back to the same classroom again. I left school and came to England in the year 1979. I was 19 years of age. After many different types of small market trading, small business and minicab driving, I ended up in a fostering business providing foster placement for children in public care. I started this on a very small scale in 1999. I was the 63rd agency in the country then (now there must be over a thousand). I had to deal with 232 local authorities in the country. I had no education, no qualifications but I was doing fine only because I was providing specialised services.

In 2002 a case about a little girl called Victoria Kimberly came to light. The government introduced new legislation of social services, introducing National Care Standard, imposing inspection, registration, and insisting the provider must have a qualified, registered manager to run services. At this the beginning of my downfall began. I could not employ so many professionals. I had nine qualified staff and was only the non-qualified idiot Boss. My views were always undermined due to my lack of education and zero qualifications. We had three admin staff I and was responsible for giving supervision to on project manager and one cleaning staff. I understood my work well, but I could not understand how to work with so-called professionals, and the law and legislation was not on my side. I lost. I lost everything. I lost my care business, but not because I did not care. I regret today, and will regret it for the rest of my life. I was wrong. I paid a heavy price for it. But I moved on. Life did not end there… My opinion has now changed. Education… First… Education… Must… Education… Just…Thank you for your visit.

A Basic How to Get Website Traffic Strategy: Link Building

However much you deny it, the fact still remains that the Web is a vast space of URLs that are linked together one way or another. If you just take the time to click through every single link that is connected to a single page you have just visited, you would be able to visit tons of other websites without even realizing it. Browsing around is like going through your campus where you actually know almost everyone even if you have not really exchanged even a single word with them.

This is the silent working principle that every Internet user knows by heart-even if they seldom acknowledge it. When you do research about a certain topic, you click through one of the links you find in the results page of a search engine. From there, you begin to dig deeper into the topic within that page until you find you have actually visited more than a couple of other websites already. Now, this is also the same principle that all online marketing individuals base their strategies on.

Link building is a concept that everyone who wants to know how to get website traffic has become familiar with. In a nutshell, link building is an online system in which a link to your website is posted in other pages. For optimized results, the link to your page must be posted or featured in websites that have a large following and that is considered as highly relevant by search engines.

As a marketing strategy, the success of link building is quite dependent on how good is the quality of the websites posting a back link to your own page. You want to be sure that only sites relevant to your brand, company, or product would be posting links to your page. Doing so benefits you in more ways than you would think of. One of the benefits you get from quality link building is that it helps in targeting exactly the market you want to reach. There is a bigger chance that the people who visit the websites featuring back links to your page are looking for something relevant to what your business offers. Having the link builds, therefore, can help you reach these potential clients.

Another benefit of link building is that it helps in guaranteeing that your website is search engine optimized to the extent that you gain high rankings in results pages. When search engines classify as of good quality the websites on which your links are posted, they are also likely to consider your own page as relevant and important enough to pull up in keyword searches in the future. This gives a boost in the reputation that your website holds, which eventually also leads you to more traffic and an increased chance of getting more sales.

Link building is just as helpful even if the Internet users do not really visit your page the first time. At the very least, the goal is to just be present in those high-ranking pages so that it can easily be seen when an Internet user suddenly feels the need to go to your website. Instead of going through the search engine process again, which most people find too inconvenient that they just discard the idea altogether, they would only have to revisit the page they have already been in and from there click through to your

website.

In most ways, link building relates well to the word-of-mouth marketing strategy that most traditional business owners engage in. You have to build good and harmonious relationships with the owners of the websites in which you would like your links posted. Sometimes, this kind of relationship also comes at an expense in that they would only post a link to your website if you do the same for them. Others even charge a minimal fee for posting the link.

On the whole, link building is one of the best strategies on how to get website traffic. If you put your heart into it, you would be able to find that there are more benefits to link building than what you think. Add this to the roster of strategies you would be using and be amazed at how easily it can complement the other tactics you utilize.

What Is Link Trading and How Do You Trade?

Have you ever thought of obtaining links from other high quality sites through trading? This has enormous benefits as it will help bring you the desired traffic while at the same time assist in improving your rankings. You will be at a position to generate a lot of traffic from the people who click the links that link to your site.

There is a special way that the search engines treat a site which has many links that point back to it. Those sites are considered to be of high quality hence they have ad upper hand advantage when it comes to being ranked. But how is link trading done? There are many techniques that can be adopted in link trading. You should ensure that you invest in a software that will enable you carry out this task as it involves many requests, contacts and link categorizations.

While selecting the right software to use, you should ensure that you get the one that will offer you the opportunity to create ad links to the directory while also sending the necessary requests to have your site links posted on the sites which you believe are of high quality. It should also offer you the chance to receive all the necessary responses concerning your requests.

After you have identified the site you would like to link to, the process of link trading starts. You should select sites that have relevance in terms of content to your site. The site should have a section of it which is dedicated to the topic of your site. You should never ink to sites that are not well ranked as this may be an impediment that will make it hard to achieve your results.

After the identification, you will have a link to that site posted on your site. There are times where the links are posted on different sites where you would like to get links from but this should not be a source of worry to you as this will bring you reciprocal links that will help improve the rankings of your site. After the successful posting of the link, you will receive a request which informs you of the need to post a back link. If this is not done within a certain time period, the original link will be removed. But if you return a link, you will have completed the link trading process successfully.

Trading in links has its own etiquette. For instance, you should never ask to trade ion links without posting a link. Many of these requests will not be answered hence it’s imperative that you post a link before making your formal request. This is because the webmasters of those other sites may wonder what will motivate you to post the links after they accept your request if you cannot do it at the beginning?

As you may not be aware, link trading is not a simple process. It calls for huge sacrifice in terms of time and resources. You will need to be organized and also wit for a long time. However, you will definitely achieve your goals if you persist to the end.

How to Find Doctors Who Care

It’s not difficult to find doctors who have a great looking background and a nice array of diplomas on their wall. It’s not even that hard to come upon ones who are board certified and have a number of specialties to their name. It can be challenging, however, to find doctors who care. To come across a physician for whom medical care is more than just a job. They still have that idealistic vision from medical school and they still yearn to help each and every patient, not only in a medical sense, but in a personal sense as well. If you know where and how to look, though, you can still discover those physicians that really want to help.

First of all, referrals from people you know are the best tools you can use when trying to look for physicians. Sure, you’ll want to ask your tight circle of friends and your immediate family, but that may not be enough to come to a good decision. For one, they might not have the same insurance and thus will not have the same options as it comes to healthcare. Two, they may not have the same issues as you have. Ask around, and don’t be afraid to extend your referral list to acquaintances and distant friends. Go even further, if need be. Post on a community message board and see what kinds of responses you get. Lay out exactly what you’re looking for in a physician and see what comes back to you.

If possible, it’s always a good idea to use the physicians already treating you to find new specialists. Almost every general practitioner will be able to give you a referral to any sort of specialist. This can, of course, go both ways. If you’re being treated for a specific illness or injury and you find that you really like the physician, you might ask them if they are available to act as your primary care physician. If not, maybe they can refer you to someone that can.

When you meet with a physician, ask them questions that will give you a good sense of how your relationship is likely to go. Ask them to tell you how long they are usually able to give to patients. They may not be able to give you a straight answer to that question, but any answer they give will shed some light on how they view their relationship with their patients. Ask them how they respond to patients bringing in their own “homework” in the form of articles, news stories, and so on. The best physicians do not close themselves off to a patient who is trying to be their own advocate.

Getting Ready to Set a Chain Link Post

You have decided to install a fence on your property. The first thing you are going to want to decide is whether you want to hire a fence contractor or install the fence yourself. There are many factors in the decision to hire the project out or install the fence yourself.

Before you begin find your property pins or measure from a plot map that is provided to you from your local government agency. You are also going to need to locate your underground utilities and sprinkler lines. For your underground utilities you can call a locate company, it is usually a free service provided by your local utility company. Once you have established the property lines and located your underground obstructions then now you are ready to mark your post locations.

First you need to determine where you want your gates and what size of gates you are going to need. Most commonly your gate needs will be a walk gate which is usually between three and four feet. Standard sizes or stock sizes, which are what most wholesale fence companies stock, are 36″, 42″ and 48″. If you need a size other than the stock size of the gate, it will usually be a special order. If you have a riding lawn mower a five foot gate will most likely work.

Once you measure for your gate post you can measure your line post. The line posts are the post in-between the end post that are also called the terminals. If you have a 100′ measuring tape it will make the next step a little easier, but a 25′ tape will work. Measure the whole distance of your line and divide the measurement by 10, if it comes out for example to be 8 ten foot sections and a 3 foot sections try taking the number and dividing it evenly so you have 9 evenly spaced sections. You don’t want to have one small section on the end of the line.

Make sure you dig your post against the home first to make sure there is no drainage pipe of footing in your way. If you do find drainage pipe or concrete footing next to your house, you can attach a pressure treated 2×4 to the home. When stringing your fence line drive your stakes in the ground about 18 inches past where you intend to dig your corner post.

Who Is Your Family of Friends? Who Is Your Tribe?

Family of Friends

I have a group of women friends who join together at least every two weeks for a Sacred Journey. We study inspirational books and have lively discussions, but we also support one another in tragedy and triumph. This is a family of friends that I have selected. My husband has a family of friends that goes bowling twice a week. My sister has a family of friends that does charity work. My brother has a family of friends that rides horses every Tuesday night and most weekends. Our daughter Debra has a family of friends that goes hiking in the mountains.

Who is your family of friends?

They may be in a number of different areas of interest. No matter who is in your tribe, you need the social network of support that comes from others who care about you. We each have a number of family friends, but it is also important to have a family of friends. Those who will support you in tragedy and triumph.

Who is Your Tribe?

Seth Godin, an internet marketing guru and bestselling author, helped many of us to be aware of the tribes we were in or leading. A tribe is a group of people connected to one another through similar thoughts, philosophies and goals either online or off-line. This tribe and community may be made up of people who are not related by blood but rather by interest and common direction of movement.

Who is Your Community?

I think of the tribes that we belong to; organizations that support caring for the environment, online groups that support writers, groups of runners, people we meet at classic car shows, etc. There is a connection but not the level of intimacy that you might find in a smaller family of friends or neighborhood community. For every human being to feel connected and a part of something bigger, each must have a feeling of belonging. If you did not have that feeling of belonging when you were growing up, you will always have a yearning for it in your heart. Your eyes will be searching for your home or tribe or the group that feels right and secure.

Wrong Family

Many clients and friends have told me they always felt they were born in the wrong family. They kept searching for the group that resonated with them. They found it in a church or a neighborhood or even a square dancing group! Lisa, a client, said the first time she put on a bunch of petticoats and a twirl skirt, she felt at home. The friendships and culture of dancing and celebrating life together with those who had similar tastes were what she had been searching for all her life. Her body picked up the rhythm of the dance as if she had been born to it. Maybe she was.

How to Help A Loved One or Friend Who Is Sick

When someone you love is sick or incapacitated you may feel lost and unable to help. You never know how much you can help a person if you offer assistance or if you just do something for them without them asking. Be careful not to overdo and offend the person. In other words going pass their privacy or boundary lines can sometimes do more harm than good. Find out what is going on or happening with the situation before stepping in to help.

They may not trust a person who is not close to them and often feel they may be asking too much or infringing on them. A person who is sick may sometimes feels that they have been so independent, until they may not need help. Sometimes their thinking or judgment is impaired and they may not think realistically due to their illness. It maybe up to you to be there for them.

Here is a list of thing you can do to help or assist a person who is sick:
1. Ask how can you help or assistance
2. Let them know you are available and stick by what you say
3. Offer kind words and mean it
4. If they like flowers or plants, bring them one or some.
5. Offer to cook for them or bring food and nourishment
6. Sit with them and read or talk with or to them
7. Offer to take or go with them to doctor appointments
8. Offer to run errands
9. Offer to clean up, do laundry, bring in the mail, take or pick up prescriptions, change bedding
10. Assist with activities of daily living (ADL) feeding, dressing, shower, hair care, oral care
11. Pay bills, phone calls
12. Offer to care for a pet

You would be surprised by doing just the little things how it can help or boost the morale of a loved one or friend who is sick. Sometimes just spending a little time with that person will make them feel better. Overall, when you offer your assistance, you may not realize what you have done but the person who is sick does and so does others that are onlookers. You should feel good about yourself. Regardless of the outcome of the illness, you know in your heart you did everything you could to help that person you loved or cared for during an illness or down time in their life.

Advice To A Friend Who Is Heartbroken And Wants a Boyfriend Back

Here is some advice to a friend who is heartbroken and wants her boyfriend back. These 3 advice will show you exactly how to advice your friend who just broke up…

Advice #1. First, Be On His Side – Do you know what is the easiest way to get someone to like you? By agreeing with them. We all appreciate meeting like-minded people. So, if you want your boyfriend back, the first thing you need to do is agree with him, and be on his side. This actually means agreeing with him that breaking up is the right decision for the both of you right now. While this seems counter-intuitive, your first goal is to let him know you’re on the same team. This will make him relax a little and subconsciously like you for agreeing with him. Guys dislike being “the bad guy” or “the guy who made you cry”. Don’t make him feel bad around you.

Advice #2. Care More About What You Think About Yourself Than What He Thinks About You – The worst part of being heartbroken is thinking that he broke up with you because there’s something wrong with you, or you are not good enough. This is simply not true and finding fault with yourself is very unattractive. Men like women who are positive and self-confident. The path to self-confidence is to care more about what you think about yourself; than what other people think of you. Start appreciating yourself by getting a journal. Each day, find one positive thing about yourself and write it in your journal. At the end of the week, look at what you’ve written and notice what a special and beautiful person you are.

Advice #3. Be Honest With Yourself – All upsets are opportunities to learn the truth. Being apart gives you a chance to take a step back and assess the situation. Here are some questions to ask yourself:

 

  • What are some “truths” about your ex-boyfriend?
  • What are some truths about you?
  • What are some truths about your relationship together?
  • Is this relationship serving you or is it causing you harm?
  • Were you more happy or sad during your relationship?

If you had to work hard at pretending to be someone you weren’t, if he took you for granted, if your relationship with him caused you more pain than joy, then perhaps it’s time to find out what you can do to build a better relationship in future. Otherwise, even if you do get back together, you will still face the same problems that caused you to break up in the first place.

Are You Gay? Who Cares!

I know it has been a while since I have written and I am a little nervous about writing something that I am sure is controversial but it has been on my mind for a while so here it goes.

There has been a lot of talk lately about being Gay – gay marriage, gay in the military, American Idol gay, is he gay?, is she is a lesbian?. Can someone please tell me what all the hype is. Being gay is nothing new. Gay people have been in the world for some time and other than a preference they are no different then you and me! And since when do we care SO much about what someone does behind closed doors. Is that what America does now? We regulate not only what goes on in a public venue but now we need to know what goes on in private as well?

Look at Adam Lambert on last season’s American Idol. I thought he was very talented – great voice, great look for show business. But when it was all over, what was everyone thinking about… is he gay? Who cares that he is gay!! Does that make him any less talented? Should we now not buy his album? And while we are at it, lets not buy Elton John’s albums either, or George Michael, or Melissa Etheridge. And since we are talking about who is gay on American Idol, maybe we should start talking about who is gay on So You Think You Can Dance. Or is it OK for a dancer to be gay but not a singer? Does this whole thing sound ridiculous yet?

What about gays in the military. President Obama gave his State of the Union address last night and as he discussed how gays should be allowed openly in the military and all the military heads looked like they were just given a death sentence! Really? So are you saying that gays can’t be patriotic? They don’t have the same responsibility to their country? They can’t fight as well? They are not as smart or skilled? If you let one gay person in the military will they then convert all other soldiers to be gay too? There have been plenty of cases of rape and torture within the military and “straight” soldiers. Is that kind of activity better than being gay? Here is a little reminder of why this county came to be: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. – Declaration of Independence

And how about gay marriage? I happen to believe that if two people love each other and want to display that commitment with marriage then I have no right to get in between that. I think love and commitment to each other is what we should be promoting. Now don’t get me wrong, I do believe in God, and although I am not a practicing Catholic, I still hold most of the beliefs, I read the bible and I know what it says about marriage. Here is my issue, technically, the bible is hearsay. It was written by man, their interpretation of God’s word. There are books of the bible that have been banned from the edition that everyone has in their home. We weren’t there. We don’t know what was really said. I try to live my life in a way that does not make me ashamed, the way I think God would want me to live. But I can’t be responsible for someone else and I am surely not “without sin” to pass judgement. Each of us will someday have to answer for our choices in life. Until that day comes I don’t plan on making anyone answer to me while they wait. And how much better is a conventional marriage anyway? Divorce and adultery is at an all time high. On Fox news the other day they said that the divorce rate was actually dropping. Do you know why? Not because everyone is happier or because conventional couples are putting forth more of an effort into their relationships – it is because it is too expensive to separate!! It is cheaper to stay together! Boy are conventional relationships better or what!

blican friends are ready to cut me off right about now. But I think I am just as entitled to an opinion as you are. Can’t we all just be people? Why even now in the 21st century we still need to distribute labels. The United States of America came to be because we wanted to escape the labels and persecution and just be who we wanted to be – and lately it just seems like we have turned into what our ancestors worked so hard to get away from.

Personally, I am straight and have some gay friends that have been some of the greatest friends I have ever had. I dedicate this blog post to you. I am sorry that in this modern-day what you prefer behind closed doors in the privacy of your own home is still such a large topic of discussion. I don’t care if you are democrat, republican, independent, conservative, liberal, gay or straight, religious or atheist – someone’s preference should be of no one else s concern but their own.